Saturday, April 01, 2006

April Fools' Day

April 1st, 2006 -- the first day of the rest of my life, a day that marks a lot of big changes for me.

I don't want any jokes played on me today because a lot of things are happening in my life right now. It's not that I don't have a sense of humor, it's just that life likes to play tricks on me and sometimes they're not appreciated.

Today my Medicare card becomes active! Me, on Medicare. I'm not old (I don't think). I don't look old and I certainly don't feel old. My mind is as active today as it was five years ago and I haven't taken to wearing purple with red hats and sitting on curbs. I don't walk around mumbling to myself and I don't do nutty things like digging through garbage barrels looking for aluminum cans and other treasures. I also don't save string or used aluminum foil to make huge balls. I don't eat cat food because I'm too poor to buy regular food, and I don't steal condiments from restaurants and hide them in my purse. (I do talk to my six cats, but that's not too nutty, is it?)

My mother told me many years ago that I was almost born on April 1st. I would have hated to be born on this day. Fortunately, I was born on April 10th, so I didn't have to go through life always being subjected to pranks on my birthday. My good friend Bornfool was born on April 1st. He's a pretty funny fellow, and I guess he gets his humor from either working at the pen or because he was born on this day. Happy birthday, BF. I hope you don't have any crappy pranks played on you today by the nutty inmates you supervise.

Today is also the start of the final countdown for my surgery which is scheduled for April 10th. What a happy birthday present. I'm really getting nervous and jittery even though intellectually I know everything will be okay. I worked in healthcare for many years and KNOW what's going to happen. I just don't want any surprises and I certainly don't want any adverse outcomes. I KNOW I will be receiving the best of care at a premier healthcare facility. My procedure will be conducted by the BEST ortho surgeon in this part of the country. He is so reknown, in fact, that he has his own surgery suite that NOBODY is allowed to use. My surgery will be conducted under a spinal with conscious sedation so I will be able to "observe" a little during the procedure. (That's one of my problems; I always want to know what's happening.)

April 1st will mark the beginning of a new phase in my life. I thought I felt old when we first started having grandchildren. I kept telling myself that I was a really YOUNG grandmother. Before the first grandchild was born, I had to start worrying about my health and my heart, so I had to quit smoking. Then my hair started turning greyer and everything started sagging. Then I joined AARP. Then I stopped working and started receiving Social Security. My husband then got me to join NARFE (National Active and Retired Federal Employees) because he's a member. Now I'm joining the ranks of the grey-haired, wrinkly, sagging-skinned old farts' club -- Medicare, Parts A and B. Where's it all going to end? First one joint replacement, then possibly another. Pretty soon I'll qualify for a total body replacement then you can call me the four-and-one-half-million-dollar woman (that's because women get paid less than men).

So, a word to the wise. Don't play any April Fools' jokes on me today because I'm really cranky. It's not easy being old(er). (You can play them on BF, though. He'll probably like them.)


At April 01, 2006 2:06 AM, Blogger rebbeca said...

Happy April Fools Day Motherkitty.

At April 01, 2006 8:32 AM, Blogger doubleknot said...

Oh how I hate those count downs to a major procedure. On your birthday too. Well if you look at it one way it is a good birthday present that will relieve you of some of the pain.
I don't like April Fool's Day - sometimes the jokes aren't all that funny.
You are going to be awake? They have always just knocked me out which was fine with me.

At April 01, 2006 8:43 AM, Blogger Alipurr said...

happy april, mom....spring is here & i am glad. It is a happy day thinking of you know who coming to see us. I found myself paying attention to the weather reports for west of us, & hoping for good travel conditions. Little One has been going around saying she wants a swimming pool, & I have had a hard time trying to explain that it is not yet warm enough...both girls are excited to see Unce Eli

At April 01, 2006 9:35 AM, Blogger bornfool said...

Thanks for the nice wishes, well except for sending the pranks my way. :)
I feel so blessed to have you for a friend.

At April 01, 2006 11:52 AM, Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

That's a great post MK and you're not getting old and they (the surgeon & his staff)are going to make you better.

I noticed that Somershade made Bornfool a birthday cake...check it out.

I see that, that strange Lirpa Sloof has been here too...;)

At April 01, 2006 3:32 PM, Blogger jellyhead said...


When you are 85, you will look back at right now and think how young and gorgeous you were!! You are not old, it's just your knee making you *feel* old!

I hope your pre-surgery nerves are not too bad today. And luckily, your doctors will put up a curtain so you *can't* observe your own surgery (gross!). You need to just lie back and enjoy the drugs!

Motherkitty, do you think you could get Alipurr to guest post when you are in hospital, so we all know how you are doing? If not, I'll go to her blog for news, anyway.

Sending you calming vibes,
:) Jelly

At April 01, 2006 4:47 PM, Blogger Rexroth's Daughter said...

Happy April Fools Day to you Motherkitty. I hope your surgery goes well. That's quite a birthday present you are giving yourself!

At April 01, 2006 5:45 PM, Blogger MrsGreenThumb said...

Hello sister, I'm sending good vibrations to you. This too shall pass. I don't like it that you have to spend your birthday in the hospital. In the end, your life will be so much easier and pain free when you heal. Lots of love from our house to your house.

P.S.Look for a box on Friday with a souvenir from CR.

At April 01, 2006 7:37 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

You will do fine with the surgery I'm sure. Doing those replacements are common these days and people do so well. I wouldn't want to observe though. I'd rather be knocked out nicely and wake up and it's all finished! But of course then you have to endure some pain and the healing process.

Talking to 6 cats is perfectly normal BTW!!

At April 01, 2006 7:44 PM, Blogger manababies said...

See, yet again Ms. Jellyhead and I are on the same wavelength. Sit back and enjoy the drugs, which is what I did when I had my c-sections. As unpleasant as the procedure itself can be, there really is no other time in which it's okay to be in such a state of mind (openly anyway, hehe).

I'll be thinking of you as your birthday draws near. It will be a good day for you because it's a step towards feeling better.

At April 01, 2006 8:41 PM, Blogger roger said...

hiya fellow geezer. good luck with the "procedure." happy april's fool to us all.

At April 02, 2006 4:15 PM, Blogger Alice said...

I hope everything goes perfectly with your operation. You're certainly going into it with a great attitude and I'm sure that will help in your recovery.

At April 02, 2006 9:31 PM, Blogger TUFFENUF said...

Welcome to Medicare, wait until you try to read the 100 page book that they send. If you weren't old and confused before, you will be now! Try not to worry about your surgery, all will go well. It is the waiting that gets to you, isn't it? Take Jelly's advice, enjoy the drugs and sleep through it.

At April 03, 2006 10:10 PM, Blogger Neo said...

Kitty - Well if I don't see you until after the 10th, have a great birthday (Operation aside).

I'll say a prayer for your surgery.

I'm sure you'll be just fine. :)

Oh, and you're not getting older, you're getting better. :>

Peace & Hugs,

- Neo

At April 03, 2006 11:02 PM, Blogger Kerri said...

Motherkitty, You're certainly not old. You're a recycled teenager! :) You have plenty of youth's spark left in you.
That's quite a birthday present you're getting. Yes, I'm sure the anticipation and waiting is the worst. You just keep thinking positive thoughts and dwelling on how it'll feel not to have that pain anymore. I've heard lots of stories about good results.
You'll be in my prayers.
you should visit Stuart's blog and read his April 1st post. It'll give you a chuckle.
Now, go have a cup of tea and stop thinking about your age. Just enjoy life and think about that lovely upcoming visit from your son and his wife. (sorry to be so long-winded).

At April 04, 2006 8:46 AM, Blogger Franny said...

I'm not so sure what Medicare is...I am guessing that it's for free healthcare for the golden generation? Well, congrats then!

Also, happy belated April Fool's day. I forgot to do the usual 'elastic band around the trigger on the sprayer in the kitchen sink' on my husband.

Take care of yourself!

At April 04, 2006 9:38 AM, Blogger The Four Bears in the Woods said...

Have been out of town on spring break visiting family. Took several pictures and had a great time.

I just wanted to say you will be in our thoughts and prayers during your surgery. And I hope you guys have a great time with Eli and his wife.

Thinking of you now as you enjoy your son and his wife's visit and will be thinking of you during your surgery and recovery. Don't worry I'm sure it will be fine.


the 4 bears

At April 05, 2006 9:12 AM, Blogger donna y said...

As my dad has always said, "Growing old is better than the alternative!"

My mother-in-law told me once that she didn't really feel any different, but that when she caught sight of herself in the mirror and saw an old lady staring back at her it was always surprising.

I think it's a matter of perspective. Old is always one generation above you. Until all of your peers have passed away. When you have outlived everyone else your age, then it's probably safe to say that you're old.

At April 06, 2006 8:10 AM, Blogger Wystful1 said...

I wish you the best of outcomes on your surgery on the 10TH!!

(My daughter was born on April 1st!!)


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