Friday, July 28, 2006

Southern Speak

The Southern States of America

Husband and I have lived in Kentucky since 1969 (it's the red state just below Indiana and Ohio). He came from California and I came from Chicago. Before we moved here to the south, we only spoke northern Yankee and Hispanic Californian. Now we speak Y'allbonics with the best of 'em. Some examples from the Y'allbonics/English dictionary are:

HEIDI - (noun) -Greeting.

HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting. Usage "Heidi, Hire yew?"

BARD - (verb) - Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow. "Usage "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - (noun) - The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck."

BAMMER - (noun) - The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum. Usage "A tornader jes went through Bammer an' left $20,000,000 in improvements."

MUNTS - (noun) - A calendar division. Usage "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I ain't herd from him in munts."

THANK - (verb) - Cognitive process. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

BARE - (noun) - An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast. Usage "Ah thank ah'll have a bare."

IGNERT - (adjective) - Not smart. See "Arkansas native." Usage "Them bammer boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - (noun) - A tool used for tight'nin' bolts. Usage "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - (noun) - A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - (noun) - A conflagration. Usage "If my brother from Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thing's gonna catch far."

TAR - (noun) - A rubber wheel. Usage "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh don't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - (noun) - A tall monument. Usage "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

RETARD - (verb) - To stop working. Usage "My grampaw retard at age 65."

FAT - (noun), (verb) -- a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat. Usage "You younguns keep fat'n, n' ah'm gonna whup y'uh."

RATS - (noun) - Entitled power or privilege. Usage "We Southerners are willin' to fat for are rats."

CHEER - (adverb) In this place. Usage "Just set that bare rat cheer."

FARN - (adjective) - Not domestic. Usage "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed . . . must be from some farn country."

DID - (adjective) - Not alive. Usage "He's did, Jim."

ARE - (noun) - A colorless, odorless gas Oxygen. Usage "He cain't breathe . . . give 'im some ARE!"

BOB WAR - (noun) - A sharp, twisted cable. Usage "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JEW HERE - (noun) and (verb) contraction. Usage "Jew here that my brother from Jawjuh got a job with that bob war fence cump'ny?"

HAZE - a contraction. Usage "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah...haze ignert. He ain't thanked but a minnit'n 'is laf."

SEED - (verb) -- past tense of "to see".

VIEW - contraction (verb) and pronoun. Usage "I ain't never seed New York City . . . view?"

GUBMINT - (noun) - A bureaucratic institution. Usage "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

We moved here to Kentucky so husband could work for the gubmint, but he retard a cuple yars ago. So did I retard, now we jist have fun breathin' in the clean are and havin' fun. How 'bout jew? Are you retard? If so, good fur yew.


At July 28, 2006 6:00 PM, Blogger Tomas Dennis said...

Tell em bout Wal Mart and Mc Donald's.

At July 28, 2006 9:18 PM, Blogger Sue said...

Did I ever mention that my hubby was Retard from the gumint?
I haven't heard this "speak" much since my Grandma passed away in 1995.
Or as she would say "Nineteen and ninety five!
Loved this!

At July 28, 2006 10:15 PM, Blogger Heather said...

We have that kind of speak going on a lot here in Texas. :-)

At July 29, 2006 8:48 AM, Blogger Moogie said...

LOL! Wait! I've got one.

That'd be Nineteen dollar and 71 cent.

This still drives me nuts!

At July 29, 2006 10:41 AM, Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

I'm retarded too and fixin to git my govmint check directly.

I'm going to tell you a little secret...when I first came to Kentucky I couldn't understand a thing anyone said. I was constantly saying, "What?" "Could you repeat that, please?"
& "What does that mean...what are you trying to say?" I still get on Jimmy's last nerve once in a while asking him for a definition of a word he is using.

At July 30, 2006 11:21 PM, Blogger TUFFENUF said...

This was some post, tears are running down my face from laughing! I heared 'nother one...
CROWNS- this girl was always talking about her son wanting some more CROWNS. Took me a while to figure out that she meant crayons!

At August 05, 2006 8:08 PM, Blogger susan said...

Hey, y'all yankees aint throwin off on us'ns from Jawjuh is ya?

Well, at least you got the definitions right!


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