Sunday, September 17, 2006

Being a woman

Hello, dear blogpals. I have been thinking about you all a lot this past week. I have had a mild summer cold and have refrained from blogging during this time because my head felt like a stuffed melon. I am feeling much better today, thank you very much.

During this past week I have read all your blogs and have commented on several of them. I noticed this morning, however, an interesting, recurring theme pertaining to our sex. (No, I'm not referring to S.E.X, but to our gender. I might get to talking about S.E.X a little bit later, though, so stay tuned.)

What I'm referring to is what makes us unique as females. As I was cleaning my kitchen this Sunday afternoon (while husband sat in his La-Z-Boy watching NASCAR), I thought about the differences between the sexes. I also thought about two comments I read on two blogs. One had a picture of a homily that read "housework is evil". The other was a comment on a favorite blog about how it's the woman's responsibility to pass along a family's history. You can see where my mind is headed. The more I thought about the differences between the sexes, the more annoyed I got. I decided that the only way I could get rid of my hostility was to blog about it to the women I know, and that means YOU. So, let's discuss what makes us unique.
  1. We make ourselves attractive for one purpose -- to get a mate and propogate.
  2. Once we get that mate, we do everything in our power to keep that mate.
  3. While we have that mate, most of us have kids (we also get to menstruate for most of our lives and bear the children in pain because of Eve and her temptress ways).
  4. It now becomes our primary responsibility to take care of the kids, including educating them, cleaning up after them, and all the disgusting bodily fluids that come out of them, and doing their laundry.
  5. Speaking of laundry, it is our primary responsibility to know how the washer, dryer, dishwasher, mop and bucket, refrigerator, and vacuum cleaner work, and how to take care of them.
  6. For most of us, it is our responsibility to know how to manage our finances, balance the checkbook, pay the bills, make the deals, be the purchasing agent, be the human resources liaison, be the pacifier/peacekeeper, and be the good neighbor.
  7. For most of us, it is our responsibility to shop.
  8. For most of us, it is our responsibility to be the nurturer.
  9. If anyone in our family becomes ill or disabled, it is our responsibility, because of our gender, to be the caregiver, again cleaning up all those disgusting bodily fluids.
  10. It is our main responsibility to ensure that our houses are clean, the clothes are clean, the refrigerator filled, the meals cooked, the floors swept, vacuumed, and mopped, all the while dressing nicely with sexy clothes on.
  11. It is our function as a female not to complain about our lot and to be charming and witty.
  12. We bear our children and we raise them, through thick and thin, until they can survive on their own.
  13. We are the archivists for our family -- taking, retaining, and catalogueing the family's history through pictures, videos, scrapbooks, and mementos -- and it's our responsibility to ensure that future generations are made aware of who those people are in all those photo albums (or in piles like at my house).
  14. We are the cheerleaders for our husbands and children.
  15. We are the supporters for those people outside our immediate family members who need financial aid and moral encouragement.
  16. We are the party planners and the ones who ensure those attending the parties are having a great time (we are also the ones who get to shop for and clean up after the party).
  17. We are the gardeners and florists.
  18. And, finally, we are the sex goddesses for our mates whom we wish to keep at all costs.
Item number 18 is probably the most important item because without this attribute we wouldn't be endowed with items 1 through 17.

All the while we females are accomplishing these tasks, we sometimes forget who we really are and what aspirations we may have had growing up. Some of us worked during our adulthood, in addition to being a wife and mother, and some of us have been stay-at-home wives and mothers. One thing is clear, however, and that is we have all had full plates over the years.

There used to be an old television program, back in the day, called Queen For A Day. Some lucky lady would be selected as queen after the studio audience voted for her because of her sad story. She would be awarded something she wished for, like a new washing machine so she could wash more clothes more efficiently, and they would plop a crown on her head, place a bunch of red roses in her arms, and wrap a cape over her shoulders. All the while she would be crying like she was crowned Miss America. It was truly sad.

Women of the world, we should be crowned Queen For Life because of everything we do. Would we change anything in our lives? Some may say yes, and others would say they have the perfect life.

One thing is abundantly clear -- without us, life as we know it would not continue. Men would be lost without us. They would be wearing one brown and one black sock or no underwear because nobody washed any. There wouldn't be any food in the house and they wouldn't have any television because the satellite or cable bill had not been paid. Men would have to find someone else to listen to their stories and there would be no one to bicker with. In addition, making disgusting bodily sounds wouldn't be funny anymore because the wife wouldn't be there to listen to them.

So, women out there in the blogosphere, if this is your lot in life, be assured that you are not alone. That's why we blog, so we can commiserate with others who have to clean up disgusting bodily fluids and listen to bodily sounds when we would rather be getting a massage at a day spa from some sexy hunk like Fabio.


At September 17, 2006 2:42 PM, Blogger T. said...

Boy, items one through 17 are my life.

Still working on number 18. Have the green nipples to prove it.

By the way, Tiger Lily and the antique bowl. Love, love love the kitty and the bowl. I collect cats and glass...I just try not to collect them together.

At September 17, 2006 3:32 PM, Blogger PEA said...

Girl, this post is right I'm depressed and wish I was a man!! LOL Men just don't realize how easy they have it...I was always upset growing up with my 4 brothers that I had periods and they didn't...didn't seem fair to me at all! lol Hugs!

At September 17, 2006 4:05 PM, Blogger Donray said...

I agree with your thoughts. Most women don't have a life of their own. I was one of them. I married very young and we had one child. We divorced when I was only 27. The hardest but best thing that could have ever happened to me. It forced me to find out who "I" really am as a person...not as a "woman". I changed jobs, dated great men, traveled, put myself back in school, and was able to keep my home and have it in my own name. I feel sorry for woman who I talk to who have no lives of their own. They become "mothers" and "wives"...they never find time for themselves. That's why there's coffee clotches in the lunchroom at work, because it's the only time they get to speak with other adults w/o their kids around. I adore my son and still have a great relationship with my ex..and that's only because I've become happy with myself. My advice to all women is to take time to do something for yourself once in a while. Get together w/friends (w/o the husbands), take a class you've always wanted to take, buy something for yourself that will make you feel good. We all know that we are used to buying for other people before we spend anything on ourself.

At September 17, 2006 4:13 PM, Blogger jellyhead said...

Well said, Motherkitty!!

You were so ferociously eloquent here, I suspect you have been feeling a tad frustrated by all that we women are expected to do. I just want you to know I feel exactly the same sometimes.

On the positive side, look what multi-talented, multi-tasking, amazing creatures we are! Three cheers for us!

At September 17, 2006 5:01 PM, Blogger Smalltown RN said...

Motherkitty....right on. It's funny today for example, I said to my husband, well I better get the chores done as I am back to work tomorrow and if I don't get the laundry done, the bathroom cleaned then it won't get done until I finish my set, which goes until Friday morning. He nods and says ok. OK!!!! what your not going to help me? Nope he's busy himself chatting, and doing whatever it is he is doing. So after I finish my workout on to the house chores I go.

Yes it never seems to end. I have just become programmed to do what it is I do. You are right, we don't realize what it is we do as women. We should give ourselves a pat on the back. And if Mother's Day is suppose to make up for it.....forget it. How many of us would rather see Mother's day put on the back burner. I would. It's just more work. Trying to fit visits in with your own mom then your mother-in-law and then the kids are suppose to be helping out but their shouting just becomes to much so you end up doing it yourself to get some peace a quite. I digress, thanks for the great post.

Have a great day!!! Women power!!!

At September 17, 2006 5:27 PM, Blogger Sue said...

I certainly remember "Queen for A Day" The Grandma I seldom blog about watched it faithfully and cried right along with them.
So many truths in this post! I've been dealing with multi- generational bodily fluids for a good number of years now (my grandkids and my grandparents) I'm truly part of the
"sandwich generation"
Bill is a wonderful helpmate through it all. We are truly a team...
I consider myself very blessed to have the life I have!

At September 17, 2006 7:47 PM, Blogger MrsGreenThumb said...

Hey you forgot one thing. If the husband goes outside looking like he picked out his clothes in the dark, it's the wife's fault.

It's true, we spend our lives looking out for our husband and kids, BUT then we are rewarded with grandchildren. :)

At September 17, 2006 8:19 PM, Anonymous cathy said...

You are right on!! And we also have to tell them "No, you are not going to wear those disgusting suspenders with shorts to go play golf, you look ridiculous."

Good one MK!!

At September 17, 2006 8:23 PM, Anonymous Alissa said...

I fit alot of those statements, but probably not for traditional reasons. Yes, I do the majority of the housework and the childcare and the bill paying. But there are 2 reasons for that, neither one having to do with traditional gender roles. #1, my husband is never home. He's at work 90% of the time, and the rest of the time he sleeps. He doesn't have much time to help out, or he would. He used to. #2, admittedly, I'm a bit of a control freak. I like things done my way, and it's just easier to do them myself than to be upset if it's not done "right".

I work a full time job and come home to care for my family. That's a responsibility I take on myself. Rest assured that my husband would never be lazing around doing nothing while I'm working. It's usually the other way around!

At September 17, 2006 8:27 PM, Blogger Alipurr said...

I guess that is why God said, It is not good for man to be alone. He knew we would be greatly needed. And my husband is my Fabio, I don't need no stinkin' day spa!

At September 17, 2006 8:38 PM, Anonymous cathy said...

You've been tagged!

At September 17, 2006 8:55 PM, Blogger Rachel said...

Very good post about men. So much of it is true!! I know all men don't fit that pattern but many, many of them do.

At September 17, 2006 10:17 PM, Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

This post sounds like Jimmy could have written it, but he would have left out childbirth & monthly periods.

I love to take pictures and have then all neatly organized *LOL* and I pay the bills in exchange for: he does ALL the household chores...except I make our bed every morning because I'm the last one out. I have to wait for him to kiss me awake and hand me my first cup of coffee.

I know...I'm spoiled.

At September 17, 2006 11:26 PM, Blogger Rosa said...

Very well written! here here!!

At September 18, 2006 6:07 AM, Blogger susan said...

Whew! I know you feel better after getting all that off your chest and mind!

Glad you are over your cold, too.

Now what time is your spa appointment?

At September 18, 2006 9:01 AM, Blogger Franny said...

Wow...that was an excellent post...really made me think about why I am so darn tired all the time and sometimes feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders.
We are all in the same boat. Though I am lucky that my hubby cleans and does laundry and wipes up puke too.

At October 03, 2006 10:02 PM, Blogger Thy said...

'you go girl'

i dont normally say that.

i had a debate with a guy at school over which gender is stronger.

obviously he doesnt know much about childbirth.

of course, neither do i. and i dont plan to for at least another 14-ish years.


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