What's wrong with me?

My symptoms:

1. Hot flashes
2. Irritability
3. Foul mouth, negative thoughts, and bad temper
4. Depression
5. Fatigue
6. Inability to sleep throughout the night
7. Night sweats
8. Always wanting to EAT MORE
9. Inability to concentrate more than two seconds
10. A preponderance of chin hairs that would take a lawn mower to eliminate
11. Constant thirst after eating everything in the house containing salt,
and the most serious symptom,
12. Inability to blog

I have been suffering from these symptoms for about a month and everybody is starting to ask "what's wrong with me". Well, I've finally figured it out. Ever since I read this, I have been feeling poorly. I thought it was just depression and stress from the holidays, but now I DON'T THINK SO.

It's because I decided to stop taking my Premarin (after being on HRT since 1989). Maybe I should have consulted my personal physician before stopping this lifesaving medicine but I really thought CNN knew what they were talking about. They didn't know that I would turn into this.


What's a woman to do? I thought after all these years I could get off the junkie trail with no problem. After all, I was able to stop smoking over five years ago. I was able to stop drinking caffeinated cokes and teas with no problem. I was able to stop eating fatty, fried foods without losing sleep over it. Those HRT pills were what was keeping me a nice, sane person. In fact, until 1989, I was a regular b**ch. Just ask my kids and husband! Then I got my first patch, the world heard a sigh of relief, and I got mellow.

Now I'm back to my old self and I don't like it.

I thought by having seven cats, and being able to pet them at will, my symptoms would be relieved. Not so. In fact, they're making them worse. I wake up at night and find at least four of them in bed with me. Have you ever slept with a blast furnace that sits on your chest, purrs in your face, licks you, and demands that you get up and play with them at 2:00 a.m.?

I keep thinking that I can be strong and I can survive this latest assault on my sanity because I AM WOMAN. But, I've alienated everybody within a three-block area, especially husband. Is it really worth the risk of breast cancer to again be the neighborhood b**ch?

If I don't get better pretty soon, I'm going to give in and start taking those pretty purple pills again. All these symptoms will disappear and I will become mellow again. Most importantly, I will be able to blog without writing about menopausal symptoms.

P.S. What's the sweetest phone call you could ever receive? The phone rings, you pick up the receiver and hear, "Grandma, will you come visit me?" from your 2-3/4 y/o granddaughter. Makes a hormone-free, stressed-out woman want to cry.