Oh, mother-in-law, where art thou?

Rebecca, circa 1940s

This is the only image of an adult Rebecca that we have ever seen. Rebecca is my husband's and my sister-in-law's (Sandy of Abandoned in Pasadena) mother. She mysteriously disappeared in 1945 after dropping her two children off at their grandmother's house. They were only about three years old (husband) and 10 months old (sister-in-law) at the time. The story as we have been told is that she allegedly went to shop for furniture and that's the last anybody saw of her. She never came back. The family never heard from her again. Her father hired private detectives to look for her at the time but no trace was ever found.

We have all been looking for Rebecca for many years. None of her family can provide any answers as to what happened to her. With the advent of the home computer, I have spent more than ten years searching online resources hoping against hope for some trace of her or a hint of where to look. Other family members have also looked and searched, but they also have had no luck.

About ten years ago I contacted the Social Security Administration seeking information about Rebecca. After a series of correspondence, I was told that they had no evidence that she was deceased. I took that to mean that she was still alive. I even wrote a letter for them to forward to her if they found a home address. My first mistake was assumption -- the assumption that she was really still alive and the assumption that she would receive my "poignant" letter and feel compelled to contact us immediately. (She never did.) My second mistake was to beg the bureaucrat at the Social Security Administration to have pity on us and give us the information we wanted to know. But, this was not to be. We never did find out if she really was still alive and we never did find out if they delivered my letter. They told me not to write to them anymore and they said they would not deliver a second letter. They said that all information was protected and confidential (because she was not listed as deceased).

There is a painful ache in our hearts because we feel we will never know the answer to the question.

There will never be closure because most everybody who would and should know is dead.

There will never be a final resting place.

Our children will never know her. I wish she could know all the wonderful people who are members of her family.

The worst part is my husband and sister-in-law feeling abandoned and lost all these years. They do not know what their mother was like and they do not know what she looked like. Others may or may not have pictures of her, but they are reluctant to make copies of these pictures. My husband and sister-in-law do not know why their mother really left or if she went on to another life. They do not know if she's planted under a tree in some garden.

Her disappearance is the most profound and painful mystery of our lives.

I wish I could fix this. I wish I could make it all better by finding the answer. I wish I could put my arms around my mother-in-law and say we've missed you terribly.

Rebecca was born on March 31, 1922. If she is still alive, she would now be 85 years old. Rebecca, we wish you a happy birthday. If she was here, we would have a big party for her. We wish we knew where to send the invitation for her to attend her party. I wish I could tell her happy birthday. If she's not alive, maybe she can hear me up in heaven.