Five things meme

I found this meme on Born Fool's blog. It's a fill-in-the-blank, five things meme. Here are the blank statements followed by my choices.

5 reasons I'm the _________.
5 reasons to wear _________.
5 reasons to _________.
5 reasons to brush _________.
5 reasons to take __________.

Born Fool's a pretty funny fellow and his answers were a hoot. I know I'm not as funny or clever as BF, but I thought I would give this a try.

5 reasons I'm the cook in our family:
1. I know how to crack eggs without getting shells in the bowl.
2. I know how to add just the right amount of spices to anything I cook.
3. I know that my husband doesn't like pasta (but I do) and that's why I make so much of it.
4. I know how to cook anything without giving anyone ptomaine poisoning.
5. I know the number for Pizza Hut delivery.

5 reasons to wear clothes:
1. So nobody has to look at my fat.
2. So I don't get a bad sunburn in awkward places.
3. So I can swim in my pool without the neighbors laughing or calling the police.
4. So you can't see the scars on my body from previous surgeries.
5. So I can look presentable when I'm out in public and you don't have to lose your lunch looking at all my bulges.

5 reasons to get out of bed every day:
1. So I can enjoy nature's beauty.
2. So I can blog and play games on my computer.
3. So I can practice my cooking skills and wear clothes.
4. So I can enjoy my family, friends, and cats.
5. So I can say that I beat death for another day.

5 reasons to brush my cats:
1. So they look real purty.
2. So they don't hack up numerous hair balls all over the house.
3. So I don't have to walk around with a layer of cat hair on my black slacks.
4. So people visiting us don't go into respiratory distress from all the cat hair on my couch.
5. So we don't find the occasional cat hair in our food.

5 reasons to take a break from blogging every now and then:
1. Because there are other things to do than blog all day while sitting at your computer in your underwear.
2. So we don't suffer from brain freeze from trying to think of something new and clever to entertain our blogpals.
3. So we don't come down with carpal tunnel syndrome from typing daily posts.
4. Because we actually need to get out of the house and meet with our "real" friends every now and then.
5. Because too much time spent in front of a computer screen will make you a babbling idiot, cause you to lose your eyesight, give you headaches, and make your skin break out in unsightly blemishes.

I'm not going to tag anyone, but please feel free to play along if you are so inclined.